“…whatever things are lovely…” (Philippians 4:8)
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THE EVIL WITHIN ME
Recently a schoolmate said to me, “Marcie, you’re too nice to be evil!” I responded back to her that I most certainly do have an evil side, I just don’t let anyone see it.
I AM a nice person. BUT, there is an evil side to me. And there’s only 3 people who have seen it. God, Satan, and me. I keep it to myself.
At this point I know what you are thinking. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MARCIE?
I’m talking about how I talk to myself. The mean, awful, ugly, despicable things I say to myself.
“I’m fat.”
“I’m ugly.”
“Nobody really likes me.”
“I’m not really that good at…..singing, writing, speaking…”
“I can’t do such and such because I’m so fat.”
“Nobody cares about me.”
“I’m not a good friend.”
You get the picture. And these are not even the worst of it. I just can’t seem to write the worst of them. I’ve let you see more than I should maybe.
You see, here’s the thing. We all have evil inside of us. Maybe not the evil that a murderer has or some horrendous criminal like Hitler, but we all have that side of us that is not nice. It keeps us from being the person we should and ought to be in Christ. It keeps us from being happy and living a life truly fulfilled.
That’s why we are admonished to think on the good things.
Philippians 4:8-9: “ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are LOVELY, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
Did you catch that? Whatever things are lovely, beautiful, good, true, pure.
It is hard to always think nice things about myself. Especially when I stare at myself in the mirror and I don’t see the person I want to be or think I should be.
So what do I do about evil Marcie? When I begin thinking evil thoughts to myself I know I have to pray and ask God to give me positive things to think. Things that are uplifting and pleasant. Then I thank God for those positive things about me.
“I am kind.”
“I am smart.”
“I am important.”
“I AM LOVED!”
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heart thoughts 
Oh Marcie! I can so relate to this – actually, I think most women can. David named my alter personality Trudy Lou. She's not nearly as nice as Nan – lol! If only we could see ourselves through the eyes of our Creator…if only. I love the scripture you chose. That's one of my favorites. When we focus on THOSE things, we are actually focusing on Jesus and all that He is. That's where we find our peace. Love you!
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Marcie, ouch! This post spoke straight to my heart. I've had these thoughts a lot lately. Thank you for your transparency.
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Oh Jamie, please always remember we are more than names we call ourselves. Satan attacks us so much in our thought lives and in our self-esteem because he knows that is where he can hit the hardest. He knows we are most vulnerable there. Put on your armor and listen to God's voice and what He thinks of you! That's when you will hear who you really are and you can believe those words more than any others. Love you girl! You are so special! 🙂
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Hi Nan! I so want women to know and understand this. Yes, I still struggle with this too but I'm learning all the time to choose which voice I want to believe and listen to. God's or Satan's? The choice sounds obvious but many times we forget to focus on Christ and what He thinks when we are really depressed or really down. Thank you for sharing! Love you too!
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